one mth of my last sem is over... NOW is AUG... one mth closer to my exam... to my end of my studies... feel kind of reluctant... loss... i know it sound kind of bad... not gd... shld put in full force for last semester and work triple harder... i know the RIGHT attitude BUT is so HARD to not fall back and feel LOSS abt future...

do i realli know what i wanna do in future? do i have the capability? talent? knowledge? hardwork? effort? haiyo... dunno wats wrong with me too... maybe life have been too stagnant... till i feel nth will change if i jus stay still... maybe i realli need to change sth... or isit tat there are so much i wanna change but i kept fail to change tat why i feel so disappointed...blur...sianzzz...

have i been deceived by my own excuses or have other deceive me with their lies...

am i living in a world of myself all along and thinking tat i'm actually blended into the world...whereby i've actually nv been accepted by the world...

realli dun like to sound pessimistic... i dunno how to say also... but feel things are really too hard to control... or am i too stress...or am i thinking too highly of myself being optimistic... wat haf i realli done over tis 20 yrs? do i really know who is tis? feel like hiding up... disappearing... going to sumwhere new... start all over again... being coma... losing all memories...

think i'm jus too tired... and crazy like the weather in Singapore...

dun worry.. i think i'm still fine... jus need to let off my pessimistic voices from the inner me???